Shark Tale (2004) Review

In early 2004, DreamWorks released Shrek 2, the follow up to the hugely popular Shrek. Shrek broke a lot of ground for the company and was the first legitimate DreamWorks Animation hit. Shrek 2 wasn’t perfect, but in a lot of ways it improved on the original and was a very good film in its own rights. So how would DreamWorks follow that up?

With Shark Tale. God Damn Shark Tale. This is a trainwreck of a film. If you put a thousand lunatics in a room with colored macaroni and glue, they wouldn’t make a worse film. Nothing about this movie works. The story is boring, the animation is hideous, the voice acting is lame, and the jokes… Or dear lord the jokes.

The jokes in Shark Tale are a combination of the lamest puns you’ve ever heard and inane reference jokes. 90% of the time, Shark Tale is elbowing you in the ribs saying “Hey see that? That’s something that people usually do, and now it’s being done by fish! Isn’t that funny?” (Hint: It’s not)

There are puns like Coral-Cola, Gup Kids, Fish King, and Old Wavy. Katie Couric plays a reporter named Katie Currant. There are references to Mussel Crowe and Jessica Shrimpson. This is the laziest kind of humor in the world. It’s just terrible. If your kids ever make jokes like these, ground them. They are obviously using some kind of drugs.

The humor’s bad, but it’s not nearly as bad as the character design. Every character seems to be based on the design philosophy of “How would this famous person look as a fish?” It doesn’t work. Seriously, look at Will Smith’s character…

Shark Tale PC Game cover

No really. Look closer…

Zoom of Oscar from Shark Tale

LOOK AT IT!

Big zoom of Oscar from Shark Tale
My eyes!!!

That shit should be illegal. And this is a kids movie? If I saw that face as a kid, I’d be afraid to ever sleep again.

This movie is awful. It has no redeeming qualities and isn’t worth the time it would take to smash the DVD. Everyone involved in the production of this film should be ashamed of themselves.

Final Verdict: TERROR FISH

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