Slim Jims Review

A haiku:

Slim Jims are a snack
That look a lot like dog food
Snap into one now

Macho Man Randy Savage
Oh yeah

If you’ve ever seen the Pupperoni dog snacks, you’ve likely noticed the resemblance to Slim Jims. You’re not alone…

Google search results
What the hell is wrong with people?

What’s actually in Slim Jims? Besides a ridiculous amount of salt (a single Slim Jim has 26% of the daily recommended value of sodium), Slim Jims contain “mechanically separated chicken.” Alright, stop here if you’re squeamish. I mean it.

Alright, I warned ya… Mechanically separated chicken is produced by forcibly removing every last edible bit of chicken meat from the bones. It becomes a paste-like… thing that gets turned into “food” items like hot dogs and Slim Jims.

Mechanically Separated Chicken
And it looks like this

But, despite this, I LOVE Slim Jims. They are delicious. Every year for Christmas, my mom gives me 4-5 boxes of Slim Jims, and it’s always my favorite gift. If they weren’t so damn unhealthy, I would eat Slim Jims and only Slim Jims for every meal.

cemetery
I might as well pick out my spot now

Final verdict: (Another haiku)
Slim Jims are so great
That I could eat them all day
But then I would die

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