The Count (Character) Review

Vampires are capable of being such interesting characters. Just the idea of something that feeds off of people; something that we’re almost entirely powerless against. It can be pretty scary. Some of the better portrayals of vampires give them a sense of class and charm that is at odds with their monstrous instincts.

Edward Cullen
And some vampires are portrayed as sparkly douchenozzles

Dracula might be cool, but my favorite vampire has to be Count von Count, often referred to as simply The Count. In case you were never a child, The Count is a vampire that lives on Sesame Street. He is best known for his habit of counting everything.

His counting is much beyond what could be defined as a hobby. He’s completely obsessed with counting. I wouldn’t be surprised if we eventually found out that The Count was OCD (actually I would be surprised. It’s Sesame Street)

Bert and Ernie
Then again, Sesame Street has always been pretty progressive

Whatever his motivations, it’s clear that counting makes The Count very happy. Whenever he finishes counting something, he’ll laugh. It’s a deep, throaty laugh that let’s you know he’s very satisfied with his counting. If only we could all control our moods that way!

One trainwreck! Ha ha ha!

The Count is just a classy guy. The dude wears a friggin’ monocle. You know who else wears a monocle? Mr. Peanut. If that’s not the definition of class, then I clearly don’t understand the concept at all. The Count’s also rocking a pretty hardcore goatee, but he manages to make it work without looking like a biker or hipster douche. He’s stylish.

Final verdict: He’s a purple vampire that obsessively counts things, and yet he’s still more of a real vampire than any of those ass-munchers from Twilight.

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4 Responses to The Count (Character) Review

  1. Krystal Parker says:

    You can’t just class anyone up with a monacle though…

    It just wouldn’t work…

  2. Krystal Parker says:

    Boo hiss, it was supposed to show you this picture:

    • Dan says:

      I stand by my belief that everyone and everything is classier with a monocle. Just like putting a spoiler on any car makes it go faster.