Super Bowl XLV Review

I wasn’t expecting much from this Super Bowl. Both the Packers and Steelers are defensive minded teams, so scores were likely to be low and offense was likely to struggle. Imagine my surprise when… the game sucked. (What a twist!)

Let’s start with the festivities and ads:

Christina Aguilera botched the national anthem. It wasn’t the worst mistake I’ve heard, but she still got the words wrong and didn’t even sound very good doing it. That’s disappointing from a singer that some have claimed (including myself) to be the best pure vocalist in the world. I wonder why she sucked so bad?

Cocaine
You probably don’t need three guesses

The halftime show was even worse. I’m not a huge Black Eyed Peas fan, but they can be pretty entertaining. However, everything about the halftime production was terrible. Their outfits tried to hard to be unique and flashy (bedazzled shoulder pads on Fergie? Really?) Thankfully though, they distracted from the tech issues with sound and lighting. Come on people, this is the Super Bowl. Don’t eff it up. Of course, the crappy costumes and terrible production values did nothing to hide the fact that the Black Eyed Peas are horrible live performers. I couldn’t even hear Fergie singing Sweet Child of Mine over the drowning cats in the background. Wait, that was her singing? Oh dear…

As for the commercials, there were a few good ones, but this Super Bowl continued the recent tradition of lame ads. I did like the Doritos pug commercial (because I love pugs) but then Doritos turned around with a disgusting ad that I don’t even want to recap.

Go Daddy, if you’re out there, you need to just quit with the ads… They aren’t original anymore, they aren’t shocking, and you offer friggin web hosting. Get over yourselves.

The Eminem-Chrysler commercial was surprisingly good. Maybe it’s because I’m from Detroit, but that ad got me pretty worked up in a good way. Well done Chrysler.

Back to the game… the game was just boring. The offenses were sloppy and while the score was close, it just wasn’t a great game to watch. It looked more like a mid-season match-up than the world championship. And it didn’t help that the most interesting Packer (Charles Woodson) got injured early in the game.

Final Verdict: The Packers won the Super Bowl. The Lions beat the Packers in the regular season. By the transitive property, this means the Detroit Lions won the Super Bowl. That’s math, bitches.

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