The Keg Steakhouse and Bar Review

I love steak. Is there anything more satisfying than a good steak? No matter what kind of day I’ve had, I’m always in a better mood after I tear into a hunk of cow.

I started my meal with a salad. It usually feels like a good idea to precede steak with salad, if only to try and trick my body into thinking I’m eating healthy. Of course, Caesar salad is about as healthy as a doughnut, but my body doesn’t know that. It was a good salad and nice and lemon-y. I’m a big fan of making food as citrusy as possible, for taste and to prevent scurvy.

Pirate
So I want to be a pirate. Is that so wrong?

The highlight of the meal was, of course, the steak. I ordered the 12 oz Baseball Top Sirloin, medium rare. This was the biggest 12 oz steak I’ve ever seen. I’m no mathematician, but I’d always assumed that 12 ounces was a pretty consistent measure of size. I was wrong though, as this 12 oz steak had to weight at least a pound and a half. Thankfully, I love eating steak until it fills my sinuses, so it was all good.

I’d like to take a moment to talk about how steak should be eaten. I’ve seen far too many people order steak well-done and then cover it with A1 sauce. This is incorrect. If you do this, please take a moment to punch yourself in the face. All set? Alright, now we can explain why you’re wrong.

First of all, cows are delicious. They don’t need any extra fixings to make them delicious; they are born that way. Every time I see a cow, I need to make a sincere effort not to just start eating it right then and there.

Cow
I’m coming for you, cow.

Covering that tasty cow-meat with steak sauce should be a crime. You are hiding the amazing taste of beef and you should be ashamed of yourself. “It doesn’t taste good without it” you might say. That brings me to point number 2: Grilling steak well-done destroys the flavor.

Steak should be served bloody. You don’t need to get it served rare; an appropriately prepared medium-rare will be just bloody enough to still be good. Anything beyond that and you’ve just ruined a steak. In essence, that cow died for nothing. It’s like you’re a murderer.

Now that all that ranting is complete, back to The Keg. The steak was wonderfully prepared and delicious. Just the right amount of spices to enhance (not hide) the wonderful taste of cow and served just a little past rare. I loved it.

So the food was great. However, the restaurant experience was… hampered by the couple of guys sitting near me. I’d hate to blame the restaurant for this, but these guys were so douche-tastic that I have to comment on them.

Thanks to their ridiculously loud conversation, I quickly learned that these two were from New Jersey. I’ve seen the Jersey Shore, so it didn’t surprise me that these guys were annoying. They commented loudly on everything from the weather to sports to business, all without saying a single thing worth hearing. At one point, they took turns making fun of a coworker who had sent an e-mail that referred to something as a “moot point”, as opposed to a “mute point.” You may have noticed that “moot point” is actually the correct spelling. That would make you smarter than these two. I’m not saying that everyone from New Jersey is an idiot…

the Jersey Shore
but that’s exactly what I’m saying

Thankfully, the Keg counterbalanced the douches with the prettiest waitresses I’ve ever seen. Since I have co-workers that read this site, I will refrain from calling them “boobtastic” but I cannot think of a single better word to describe them. Umm… I’m sure they had great personalities.

Final Verdict: Great steak, hot waitresses, and a couple of douchebags at the other table.

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