Like most people, I sometimes have to use the restroom. Also like most people, sometimes this means I have to do this while out in a public place. At those times, I have to use the *shudder* Public Restrooms.
I hate public restrooms, so I do what I have to as quickly as possible, then I get out. I really don’t want to spend much time in there. However, as much as I want to get in and get out, I ALWAYS wash my hands.
It seems obvious, right? You go to the bathroom, then you wash your hands. I rarely even think about it; it’s just a part of life. But, I’ve noticed that, for many people, it’s not a part of life. My best estimate, based on what I’ve witnessed, is 1 in 5 men don’t wash their hands (I have no baseline for women, but I’ve heard the number is comparable).
The location of the restroom makes a big difference. At the office, almost 100% of people wash their hands. At the bar, about 1/2 do. At the airport, maybe 1 in 5 actually wash their hands. That means 80% of people I’ve seen a the airport DON’T WASH THEIR HANDS.
I’m not going to beat around the bush on this one: If you don’t wash your hands, you are a terrible person. That shit is disgusting. I truly hate people that don’t wash their hands.
There’s just no reason for it. Are you in a hurry? Then wash quickly. It’s better than nothing. No paper towels in the bathroom? Then wipe your hands on your damn pants. Did you just go number one? I DON’T CARE. WASH YOUR GOD DAMN HANDS.
I propose the following solution: We post a guard at every public restroom. His job is a simple one. If he sees someone leave the restroom without washing, he kicks them in the spine. That’s a deterrent right there. Plus, we’re creating jobs and that can help stimulate the economy. It’s win-win.
Since we’re not yet at a point where we have spine-kickers at every restroom, please take a minute to do the following: If you use a restroom without washing your hands, please take a fork and jam it into your leg. Does it hurt? Good. You’re a disgusting, terrible excuse for a human being. You deserve so much worse.