Kelly Kapowski (Character) Review

I love Saved By the Bell. Sure, the acting is terrible, the storylines are nonsense, and everything else about it kind of sucks…. but… umm… that sure is one heck of a theme song, right?

Saved By The Bell Theme Song
It’s alright. (Get it? Because that’s one of the lines in the song… Ah, you’ll laugh later)

Saved By The Bell introduced us to a variety of character types: The preppy guy (Zack), the smart girl (Jessie), the nerd (Screech), the closet homosexual (Slater). Perhaps most importantly, the show had the hot one (Kelly). Of all the characters on the show, she sure was one of them.

Kelly was America’s sweetheart. Sweet, perky, and cute; everyone loved her. Especially Zack. You see, Zack was portrayed as somewhat of a womanizer. He was the popular guy at school and his hair was so blonde that he could have any girl he wanted. But really, the only girl he wanted was Kelly.

Kelly Kapowski
An understandable choice

Kelly was supposed to be the ideal girl next door. The one that everyone loved because she was so sweet and nice and would never hurt anyone. Of course, she was actually nothing like that. She was a merciless heart breaker, repeatedly stomping on Zack’s heart like she was trying to put out a fire.

Zack was, for the most part, pretty faithful to Kelly. Kelly, however, would leave Zack at the drop of a hat. It became a recurring story-line for Kelly to leave Zack for a more mature, older man, because she was “in love” and he was just too young to understand. It happened when she picked Slater over Zack because Slater had a car. It happened when she picked Jeff over Zack because Jeff was in college. It happened when she picked Jeremiah over Zack because Jeremiah was a college professor. Are you seeing the pattern now?

Magic Eye Picture
I see it! It’s a shark!

(I don’t even think I need to explain why a 16-year old Kelly dating a college student (and her boss!) was inappropriate; The statutory rape laws will take care of that one for me.)

Zack must have been a glutton for punishment. Kelly kept dumping him and he kept crawling back to her the second she said “Yeah, whatever. I’ll give you another shot.” Kelly ends up coming off as an immature bitch and Zack just looks spineless. Sure, the series ended when they got married, but if it kept going, I wouldn’t be shocked if she left Zack for her older and more mature doctor. And then she’d leave him again for their kid’s teacher. Following that pattern, she’d eventually end up leaving him for Mr Belding.

Mr Belding

Final verdict: Kelly was a complete bitch. I don’t know why Zack kept going back to her…

Tiffany Amber Thiessen
Oh, right.

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