Pogs Review

Pogs are proof that kids will buy anything. Absolutely anything. Just like Beanie Babies, Tickle Me Elmos, and crack cocaine, Pogs spread like wildfire throughout playgrounds and classrooms of the 90′s.

I could go into the history of Pogs (game played with milkcaps in Hawaii) but it doesn’t matter. What matters is, during the 90′s, kids bought Pogs like they were going out of style. (Incidentally, they were.) Hell, I got caught up in the frenzy too… All I wanted for my birthday or Christmas was Pogs.

N64
Who the hell needs a Nintendo 64 when you can have little cardboard disks?

Looking back at it… I was borderline retarded. Pogs are stupid. The game itself is stupid. Hit the pile and see if it flips? STUPID. BUT…. BUT…. And this is a big but…

Sir Mixalot
No.

BUT… Slammers were AWESOME. I had slammers shaped like buzz saws. I had holographic slammers. I had one that weighed half a pound. The game essentially became about who had the best slammers, because, let’s face it, you hit a pile of disks with a half pound brass weight and that pile is going to effing flip over. Of course, this is part of the reason the game was so stupid. The kid that could afford the best slammers always won.

Bill Gates
“I drop my slammer from a friggin’ helicopter”

So while slammers were the shit, they were expensive, so we collected the Pogs themselves. To make them more appealing, they were printed with every image you could imagine. Unfortunately, most people have terrible imaginations so every single Pog design was either a skull or an eight-ball.

ALF Pogs Simpsons
Or ALF… Remember ALF? He’s back, in Pog form!

Final Verdict: When we’re old and are telling our grandkids about life “back in the day,” we’ll be able to say something along the lines of: “You kids have it so easy. Back in my day, we played with cardboard disks, and we liked it!” Of course, they’ll never know that it wasn’t due to lack of technology or resources… it was because we were all idiots.

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