There are certain eventualities in life. Visit enough foreign countries, and eventually you’ll get food poisoning. Watch enough tv and eventually you’ll watch an episode of The Jersey Shore. And, if you drive enough in New York, eventually your car will get towed. It’s one of the facts of life.
Nah, too easy
My own experience with NYC towing came when the No Parking sign was blocked by a dump truck. As such, there were several other cars parked there too. And of course, they all got towed. Just to throw a little more salt on the wound, this happened less than an hour before I was supposed to start a road trip. Thanks a lot New York!
“You talkin’ to me?”
So thanks to this wacky series of events, I got to experience first hand the impound lot of Brooklyn, New York. How was it? Let me put it this way… if you had your car towed in hell, you’d have to pick it up in Brooklyn.
Some of the problems were obvious: A 3+ hour wait, in the middle of summer, in a room with no air conditioning leads to some interesting smells and some cranky people. But I still wasn’t expecting the fights…
You see, New York is home to some colorful people. And I don’t mean the colorful muppets of Sesame Street (although they are delightful). No, I mean that I witnessed a man, holding a baby in one arm, trying to punch another man with his other arm. I would have assumed that, the impound lot being run by the NYPD, fights would have been minimal. That would have been quite incorrect, since the people behind the glass did absolutely nothing to intervene. In their defense, I just don’t think they cared.
No, I take that back. The employees cared enough to argue with every person that came up to the desk, even if the person wasn’t complaining about anything. You could present your license, proof of insurance, and registration without saying a word, and still get yelled at for being rude. Though, I think in Brooklyn that not insulting another person is considered quite rude.
Pictured: The city mascot
Even having your insurance and registration ready should be cause for celebration. You see, most people keep those things in their car. If their car has been towed, they don’t have access to them. The Brooklyn Impound Lot solved this problem like this: Wait in line until you get to the front. Tell the clerk that you need to get those papers from your car. Get escorted to your car and back, while everyone waits for you to return. This is how you can turn a 15 minute wait into a 3 hour wait, like magic!
Final verdict: Goddamn this place sucks. Just take the subway instead. You’ll see all kinds of ballsacks, but it’s still easier than dealing with the impound lot.