Raggs Bar (Grand Rapids MI) Review

You will never encounter a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

This place was disgusting. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it before. Most times, I’d be happy to show up to a bar that was filled with women in skimpy clothing. I’ve since learned the error of my ways.

These women put the Ho in Holy shit, look at all these whores. And I don’t mean that in the derrogative sense… there were actual whores in the bar. I know this because one propositioned the 70 year old man we were with. And let’s be honest here: what she was selling was not worth the $200 she priced it at.

I saw girls with no underwear try to do the splits (Hint ladies: Don’t do this. Especially if you weigh more than most of the guys at the bar) I saw girls literally licking each other at the bar. I saw a… girl / woman / transvestite? (I’m not really sure) hump a speaker. Let me say that again… she or it HUMPED A SPEAKER. That’s not just nasty, it’s weird too.

So this place was disgusting. I don’t know if you can get herpes solely by breathing the air in a place like this, but I hope to God not, since otherwise, I now have herepes of the lungs.

Besides the herpes or Super AIDS, the bar sucked anyway. They ran out of Patron (at like 9:30 PM). They charged $5 if you wanted to get Happy Hour prices (That defeats the whole purpose of Happy Hour you jackasses). I think the worst part might be when I ordered a Diet Coke. After taking one sip, I knew something was wrong. I had assumed the fountain just ran low on syrup, so I let the bartender know. She told me that the “Coke” they used was really a 3rd party brand. Well damnit… then why didn’t you tell me that when I ordered and paid for a Goddamn Coke. I didn’t order a Shit Cola for a reason.

Not pictured: Shit Cola

Final verdict: This place might have actually been Hell. I can’t prove that but I wouldn’t at all be surprised if it really was.

This entry was posted in Food and Drink, Places and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.