Connect Four Review

Let’s be honest here: Most board games suck. Some suck because they are based only on luck, not skill (Chutes and Ladders, CLR, War), some suck because they are too complicated for their own good (has anyone actually PLAYED Mouse Trap?), and some are just the worst game ever made (Monopoly).

Monopoly can go die in a fire

However, there is one board game that I have never thought sucked: Connect Four. It’s muh favorite.

Mr Happy

The gameplay is like an improved version of tic tac toe. Improved in the sense that not every game ends in a goddamn tie. Plus, the game can employ some actual strategy (hint, if you go first, start near the middle. You can win in four moves if your opponent makes a mistake). Each player takes turns dropping a Checker piece into the board, and whoever gets four in a row wins.

The board itself is pretty sweet. The bottom of the board features a switch that lets you release all the pieces onto the table in a glorious crash. It’s fun because it makes a mess! Plus, if you think you’re about to lose, you can use that switch to throw a tantrum like a champ.

angry woman
“If you win again, I swear to god I’m going to punch you in the cock”

Connect Four also had a fantastic commercial. While it had the same cheesy kids that all 80′s commercials had, it also had an incredible song. The kind of song that gets stuck in your head as soon as you hear it. Don’t believe me?


Final verdict: Go for the glory, go for the score. Go for it, Connect Four! Also, Monopoly can suck it. I hate that game.

This entry was posted in Games, Products and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Connect Four Review

  1. Quail says:

    Connect Four rules. Each round didn’t take forever to play (I’m looking at you Monopoly!) , all the pieces were the same (so if you lost one, big deal), and you could also make interesting patterns. It was especially good to play with younger siblings who hadn’t caught on to the easy ways to win.

    I might forgive you for your Ke$ha review for this one.

  2. Krystal Parker says:

    Best game ever….. will take on all challangers