Fun With Dick and Jane (2005) Review

First off, this DVD wouldn’t let me skip the previews. I am voluntarily sitting through this crap-pile of a movie and it’s making me watch previews! Previews for a Rob Schneider movie! Oh boy, this is going to be just great!

What a brutally boring movie. It’s viciously boring. It’s excitingly boring. Wait… scratch that last one.

Jim Carrey… what happened to you man? You used to be awesome. Why would you do this to yourself? Do you realize that doing this movie is like punching your own career in the balls? Why would you want to do that?

So… Fun With Dick and Jane. Here, watch the trailer:

What do you think it’s about? Do you think it’s about a couple that makes it big as robbers? Because it’s not. That’s a lie. They don’t start robbing places until 50 minutes into the movie. They stop robbing places at the 1 hour mark. That’s 10 minutes of robbery! And most of that’s a montage! What the hell movie?

The main running joke is that Dick and Jane’s son speaks Spanish. Because… that’s funny? Hey, it worked for Carlos Mencia. (Editor’s Note: No it didn’t. Carlos Mencia is a douchenozzle)

This movie sucks. You can’t show this movie in prisons because it’s considered cruel and unusual punishment. If you bring this movie onto an airplane, you’ll be arrested as a domestic terrorist. This movie made the decision to cancel Arrested Development and Firefly. It’s so boring that I actually had to check my pulse during the middle of the movie just to be sure I was still alive.

Final Verdict: This movie should be called Not Fun With Dick and Jane. Wait, that joke sucked…. how about, this movie can suck my Dick (and Jane)? Yeah, that works.

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