Super Soaker 50

Now this is what I’m talking about. Maybe even more so than the Nerf Blast-a-ball, the Super Soaker 50 defined my childhood.

Super Soaker 50
Oh yeah, that brings me back

It’s easy to forget what squirt guns were like before the Super Soaker. You pulled a crappy plastic trigger and got a weak-ass stream that, maybe, would travel 5 or 6 feet. You couldn’t drench a person with that. Hell, the gun didn’t even hold enough water to soak someone if you stood behind them and just kept squirting away, all day. And they probably wouldn’t let you do that.

So when the Super Soaker showed up… you either had it, or you got soaked. It changed the face of squirt gun fights forever. It was like showing up to a knife fight with a goddamn tank.

Tank
“Bring it on”

Later models of the Super Soaker were bigger and more powerful, but for me, it’s all about the classic. The later ones weren’t nearly as portable, were harder to pump and to carry, and didn’t have that awesome yellow, orange and green color combo that reminds me so much of Ecto Cooler.

Ecto Cooler
Hells yeah

The newer Super Soakers were also more likely to hurt your target, but that really didn’t stop kids from using the 50 to hurt people anyway. (In case you didn’t know this, kids are really cruel. Damn kids.) Kids in my neighborhood would fill the Super Soaker with soapy water so it would burn your eyes, or fill it with hot water to cause actual burns. And I knew at least one kid that tried filling one with lighter fluid.

Creepy girl
“Yes Mr Feathers… I do think they should burn…”

Despite the attempted murder, it still is a great toy. It was enough to completely change the concept of the squirt gun and was a toy you simply had to have in the 90s.

Final verdict: In the immortal words of Soulja Boy: “Super soak dat ho.”

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