The Walking Dead: Season 2 Review

Let me start out by saying, I actually liked Season 2. I know there has been a lot of criticism about it (mostly justified) but it was still pretty enjoyable. Maybe it’s because zombies are awesome and it’s the only show about zombies on tv? (Until the next season of True Blood. I’m calling it now: The zombies are coming…

… Wait…

I just got a great idea for a porno flick…

Are zombies erotic? I don’t even know… Is it necrophilia? I mean, they aren’t dead, per se, but they are undead. No one thinks Twilight qualifies as necrophilia, right? Even though Kristin Stewart emotes as well as an actual corpse?

Okay, now I’ve lost my train of thought)

Anyway, the show has some great parts. Every time Daryl is on screen, the show is awesome. When Rick does something bad-ass, the show is awesome. When zombies eat people, the show is awesome. The only problem is that stuff doesn’t happen nearly enough.

In season 2, we got a lot of talking. And then more talking. And then Carl / Lori does something impossibly stupid. Then more talking. It wasn’t exciting, it wasn’t fun. It was boring. Especially the first half of the season, there was way too much of nothing. The second half of the season was notably better, and really saved the show for me. I hope they can keep it going in Season 3.

But let’s talk about Lori for a minute. She is the worst character I’ve ever seen. Every time she’s on the screen I start quivering with rage. If it was possible to hate a character to death, Lori would have died ages ago. At this very moment, I am designing a time machine solely for the purpose of traveling back in time to the moment Lori was created, and kicking the person responsible in the teeth. Maybe that’ll teach him not to make Lori. Maybe I’ll get to fight a time travelling cyborg for the life of Linda Hamilton. Time travel is tricky, you never really know what’s gonna happen.

Lori is the kind of character that crashes a car on an abandoned road, during the middle of the goddamn apocalypse. She has one job on the show (watching her son Carl) and she can’t even do that for 5 goddamn minutes. Honestly, I think her character might already have had her brain eaten by zombies. Just watch your damn son, Lori! He’s ruining everything because you can’t think to keep an eye on him! He’s a damn kid! He’s not a teleporting ninja! (Oh crap… there should be a show about a teleporting ninja. And his robot car! They can fight crime and every episode they’ll learn something about themselves. Really introspective stuff.)

Lori’s not the only terrible character though. T-Dogg is also pretty damn bad. Not that he really does anything annoying, or anything at all, but his name is T-Dogg. Damn it, that’s a god damn stupid damn name. The world has ended, and T-Dogg is still setting race relations back by virtue of his god damn stupid name. Every single time someone talks to him, it pulls me out of the show. I instantly remember I’m watching a tv show, because I’ve vomited all over my screen. Names shouldn’t make me vomit! Damn you T-Dogg!

And what about Dale? He’s supposed to be the moral center of the group and all I can think it “This dude’s got crazy eyes. And a stupid hat.”

So I like the show, but the characters are so god damn frustrating. But that’s the beauty of a show about zombies… I can look forward to zombies eating their stupid faces.


Final verdict: T-Dogg? What the hell, man? I don’t care if that’s what all your friends called you before the world ended. It’s a god-damn stupid name. You sound like a college freshman that’s trying to be cool at orientation. The one that everyone tells they are going to bed early, just so he’ll stop trying to hang out with them. The guy that spends 90% of his freshman year masturbating in his dorm room, and the other 10% buying tissues and lotion. T-Dogg… god damn terrible name.

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